Monday, March 25, 2013

This Adventure Starts Now


It's been a while.
Back in December I had to stop writing. The stress of family and work, not to mention what seems to be my annual slide into a deep funk around January got to be a bit much so I backed off blogging. I even gave up my role as a contributor for Wicked Little Pixie, which I loved.

Unfortunately not the kind of funk I'm talking about. :(

Fortunately/unfortunately I've suddenly got a lot more time to write.

You see, it's 9:30 am on Monday morning and I'm not at work. I got "laid off".

The whys and wherefores of my sudden state of unemployment aren't important. Financially my family will be fine for a bit and as a Christian I believe (both through faith and experience) that God provides and will use this as an opportunity for me to do something else. The latter though is what is freaking me out.

I worked at my job for almost 7 years. I have no idea what to do now, where to go or even what I'm good at. The lay off has thrown me into some practical and emotional turmoil.

Practically, let me just say that it's a really crappy idea to only have your resume on your work computer.

Very bad idea. Wahhhhh!!
That's actually all I have for the practical side of things, besides the obvious bills to pay, mouths to feed shtick that I figure nobody needs me to spell out for them.

Emotionally, I have lots going on and most of it's crappy.
I feel totally lost.
I've never been laid off before and it's messing with my self confidence. 
Skills I was sure of  2 weeks ago, I feel inept at. Talents and abilities I took pride in seem like nothing. How am I supposed to look for a new job, when I, apparently, wasn't skilled enough to keep a job I'd been doing for almost 7 years? Dude! It's freaking me out.

I'm working really hard to try and be positive, have faith and believe in myself, but right now I feel like I'm at a fork in the road with no map or pie. I think being at a fork in the road should automatically garner me some pie.

Friends and family, even former co-workers, are being wonderfully supportive and have been showering me with encouragement and job suggestions, but inevitably I end up here, on my couch alone, completely discombobulated and worried about my family and future.

This isn't to say good things haven't happened in the last two weeks. I mean, I've won or received half a dozen new books to read for free (which is awesome), I got caught up to season 5 of Supernatural and I've had the opportunity to volunteer my time to some very worthy causes that I otherwise would've been too busy for. I also got caught up on laundry, have started to enjoy cooking for my family again and have 2 more hours a day to spend with the coolest kid ever.

Still...the Pollyanna in me is getting worn out. 
I'm frustrated, angry and panicky. I'm unsure of myself and working double time to keep a stiff upper lip. Plus, the jobs here suck. My first day of looking and the 3 best looking jobs were Ballet Teacher, Carnival Rides Operator and Mushroom Picker.

Not exactly what I had in mind.

Anyway,I'm trying to treat this as a new adventure.
I'll try to write more and I'll even make sure it's not all depressing, emo stuff. Just for you.

Ciao. :)

1 comment:

  1. so glad to see you included Mushroom Picker in the list.

    you didn't ask for advice,but I'm going to offer some to you anyway..."Be easy on yourself"

    or, in other words... you are now/presently/at this moment caught up in a whirlwind/tornado/place of uncertainty. This is not the time to be making plans or fretting about how you ended up here. This is the time to HOLD ON and WAIT IT OUT. Eventually, the storm will pass, the winds will die down, and you will be on firm ground again. When THAT happens, plan your next move. For right now, just hold on to God and be kind to yourself.