Saturday, December 10, 2011

This Week in Crazytown! (December 4 - 10, 2011)

This week was Cah-Ray-Zee! Nothing bad, it just seemed like a bit of a train wreck.
And here's my week now!

Here's what happened this week in Crazytown.

1. I went to the One of a Kind Show in Toronto.
Listen I like art and handmade stuff, but this was crazier than I expected. The venue was huge, jammed pack, smoking hot and sadly bereft of decent food. It was like everything that gives me anxiety all together in one place.

There were tons of different vendors. Artisans from across the country were selling independently produced soap, candles, pottery, hats, food (not the kind you can sit and eat), scarves and jewellery, along with some really awesome art, furniture and clothing too. Everything was beautiful, but I couldn't afford any of it so I pretty much felt like I was at a museum. An anxiety-inducing museum of sweatiness (it was freaking hot!).

My favourite vendor by far was Margi Laurin at booth G-5. Ms. Laurin's booth stood out, with it's bright colours and unique use of old books. I love that she's re-purposed these old books, including classic Little Golden Books, Mills and Boons and other golden oldies to make journals, eReader covers, scrapbooks, memo pads and even art. For a book lover like myself she made the show for me.

2. A pep talk...from my tampons?
Every once and a while I feel blue, I find myself more easily enraged and brought to tears by the smallest things. At these times a pep talk is, when chocolate, liquor and/or man bashing jokes are unavailable, a useful tool to help me get back to my bubbly self.

What I don't need though is a pep talk from, of all things, my tampons.  Yes, the other day I reached into my box of Playtex Sport tampons only to find a perky little message of encouragement typed in hot pink on my tampon wrapper.  Little messages like: Prepare your victory speech; Go play: Have funLife is Sport...Get in the game; Be passionate; Life is a marathon. Keep running; You've got the power; and Never give up!
Just in case you thought I was lying.
Dude! If I wanted inspirational messages I'd go out for Chinese and get them from a cookie! And half of the messages are ridiculous. You want me to "be passionate"? Right now? I'm on my freaking period and you want me to "keep running"? How am I supposed to do that with cramps that keep me in fetal position. This is just craziness!

3. Jacob made me a picture of a rocket ship. TA-DA!! *does jazz hands*
At least it's not a pink rocket ship.
Apparently, this is a picture of a pterodactyl and a rocket ship.  I see a pterodactyl and a penis.
Is there some kind of training for parents or a book I can read that will keep me from laughing my head off at my kid's art work? Hubs and I nearly died looking at this picture, which is now centre stage on the refrigerator. Am I too immature for kids? Did you see it too?

4, Bacon Frosting - from the good people at Perpetual Kid comes this new taste sensation. Bacon love it's spreading 'cross the nation!

"This dark red bacon-flavored frosting is a sweet smoky dream on any dish!  Use it to fool your friends and co-workers or for all bacon lovers who really appreciate the meat candy taste!

I'm pretty sure this abomination is discussed in the latter chapters of Revelations and if purchased by 666 people will begin Armageddon.
5. Christmas Carols - I worked in retail for over 6 years and in that time I developed a love/hate relationship with Christmas music. I love most Christmas carols/hymns, but generally despise Chirstmas pop songs. If I never in my life have to hear "Mele Kalikimaka", "Christmas in Killarney", "Blue Christmas" or "All I Want for Christmas is You" again I will be extremely grateful. However, I understand that not everyone shares my (impeccable) taste in music, nor will my local mall develop a playlist for when I'm shopping. Which is why it makes me crazy when artists ruin the Christmas songs I do like.  Listen, if you're belting out "O Holy Night" so hardcore that I'm worried you're going to have an aneurysm then you're overdoing it and like too much bacon frosting on a cake that's just crazy. 
Oh Michael, your music makes me want to put forks in my ears, but  I sure do miss your golden, fleecy mullet.


  1. Sara....truth be known,,,, thats the first thing I saw when I saw Jacob's picture. Love your son! He sure is a chip off the ol block! As for the show you went to....I too would be totally overwhelmed but wouldn't think to be as creative as you and express myself in a blog.... please please please keep it up. Love the read, and next time I use tampons, I'm going to check out mine to see if they have a cheery message. I'm usually like you, NOT in the mood for it!
    Look forward to next weeks!